I Heard There Would Be Cake

pluralisms:

how many selfie outtakes do you think the NSA looks at every day?

how many dickpick outtakes?

nihtegale:

Bacchus, Roman god of wine and agriculture c. 1496-1498

GPOY

nihtegale:

Bacchus, Roman god of wine and agriculture c. 1496-1498

GPOY

batsonthebrain:

nanner:

matafari:

shewolfs:

#THE BIGGEST ‘FUCK YOU’ IN THE HISTORY OF GAME OF THRONES

#good thing winter is coming #gonna need some ice on that burn

And Tyrion’s just like “Respect.”

If anyone can appreciate the value of a well delivered backhanded compliment, it’s Tyrion.

THIS IS WHY YOU CAN’T SHIT ON SANSA

  • Always say yes to seeing friends
  • Eat breakfast every day
  • Recognize that positive change rarely happens overnight
  • Accept the fuck-ups, but try not to let them happen again
  • There is a song to remedy every situation on the planet
  • Appreciate the people in your life
  • Look for the good in everything
  • Try new things and try them often
  • Treat yourself as well as you treat others

if your goal is to get me so overwhelmed and depressed and self-loathing that I quit then joke’s on you because I used to work at a summer camp for rich bratty kids who were the worst and if I didn’t quit that then i pretty much won’t quit anything.

slaughterhouse90210:

“There were always in me, two women at least, one woman desperate and bewildered, who felt she was drowning and another who would leap into a scene, as upon a stage, conceal her true emotions because they were weaknesses, helplessness, despair, and present to the world only a smile, an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.” ― Anaïs Nin

slaughterhouse90210:

“There were always in me, two women at least, one woman desperate and bewildered, who felt she was drowning and another who would leap into a scene, as upon a stage, conceal her true emotions because they were weaknesses, helplessness, despair, and present to the world only a smile, an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.” 
― Anaïs Nin

okay can we just for a second

ok so first off, no, I’m not shopping for myself. I got an email from J Crew being like “check out our baby stuff!” and since I paid over a hundred dollars for a dress there over the winter, I HAD to see what sort of waspy baby clothes they had.

And holy shit they do not disappoint. 

Okay so I love Le Petit Prince like no one’s business, and I would totally want a Le Petit Prince onesie for my hypothetical child, but this thing is 30 GD DOLLARS ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Like, there are strollers that don’t even cost that much.

If you were paid 1 dollar for every time the kid was able to wear this and still fit into it you WOULD NOT break even! Babies grow way too fast to be spending such money!

But also oh man in my AU where I’m a rich senator’s trophy wife I would buy the shit out of j crew baby clothes because that aesthetic, and spending that much on baby clothes that are literally going to be covered in shit and vomit, is so waspy that it’s actually kind of amazing.

I keep flip-flopping back and forth between feeling snarky and indignant (ie ‘you’re not as perfect as you think you are you know. I’ve seen you make a mistake’) and feeling hang-wringingly inadequate and overwhelmed (ie ‘I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so sorry I know I’m the worst).

I wish I were a robot. No feelings and consistently standard performance.